Archive for August, 2010

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Writing it Down Helps

August 31, 2010

I am struggling with a few things lately. I am not the musician I want to be. I am not the dad I should be. I feel like half my life has gone by and my personal desires for me are unfulfilled. I’m not where I thought I’d be job wise, but then again, I could never answer that “where do you see yourself in 5 years” question. Maybe that is telling. I actually have had no plan so I moved to where the opportunities are. So I haven’t done my part, but God by His grace has still ordered my steps.

I have always wanted a wife and children. I am married with four kids, but like I mentioned earlier, it’s another frontier to be demonstrate my mediocrity.

In the end, I have this silly desire to be great at something and I am not. It’s frustrating to want things I can’t achieve.

I need to find contentment apart from myself. I know it should be in God. You’d think I’d be happy the creator of the universe knows me and loves me. I’m actually frustrated to be made the way I am. But the dissatisfaction serves to drive me to him, as I should not be content with me.